When your life feels like out of control, or when it’s just not what you had thought it would be, it seems impossible to be able to take control of your life. It seems nearly impossible to make the changes necessary to live proactively and work towards a better future. I know what that’s like because I camped out in that “woah is me” mentality for a while before I finally decided to make a change.

Of course, I wasn’t able to make the changes on my own. My stronger relationship with God that led to a deeper faith was the most crucial component I needed to actually make the changes I knew I desperately needed to make.

Once you’re relationship with God is intact, or at least starting to grow, you can then take some steps with Him by your side that will allow you to become more assertive in becoming the new you. Making these changes don’t happen overnight. It takes time, and most importantly, focus. In order to make positive changes towards a brighter future, we have to evaluate every aspect of our lives to see how we might be able to improve. In other words, we don’t just say, “God, I need to be different. I’ve messed up a lot and need your help”, and then wait for Him to magically transform our lives. Instead, we say that same prayer, but then sit down and invite God into a reevaluation session. We sit down and we hone in on the different categories of our life that we need to improve, and then make active decisions on the best way to achieve these self-improvement goals.

Here are a few areas that you might want to consider as you start developing your best new self.

Work

The work you do on a daily basis and the career path you choose (for a lifetime or for the moment) play a huge role in your life. One of the things I had to do as a senior in college was to assess my career path and ask myself what it was that I intended to do with my life. I wasn’t just focusing on what made me happy (although that was a huge part of it), I also wanted to do something impactful. It was around that same time that I [somehow] ended up getting into grad school. After two years of the hardest classes I had ever taken, I again found myself reassessing my path.

Up to that point, I had been focusing on interpersonal and organizational communication thinking I would be going into some kind of communication director position, but it was during this second reassessment that I realized that wasn’t my calling. I was meant to teach. I didn’t know why, but somehow I knew God had a plan for me in that area of work. Today, He has used me in more ways than I could imagine, but I never would have known I could be used in such a way if I hadn’t taken time to sit down and reevaluate. So I encourage you to do the same. And, if you have a relationship with God, I also encourage you to invite Him into the process of assessing your career path and see where He might take you.

Faith

My faith in God is one of the most important aspects of my life. It is central to who I am, what I do, how I act, and the life I live. Constantly seeking advice and guidance from God on how I should live, and what I should focus on has helped me overcome the hard seasons I’ve faced. If you’re wanting to feel closer to God, then spending time with Him on a daily basis will help you achieve that. Also, attending church on a regular basis has helped me in so many ways. If you’re just getting into your faith, you might not feel like going to church at first; but in my experience, as I grew in my individual relationship with God, I began to also desire to be a part of a like-minded community. Both the individual and corporate aspects of faith has helped my relationship with God grow, which has ultimately impacted my life for the better.

Finance

Another area to consider is your finances. I know it can be stressful to think about, which is why so many people ignore them. I know when I first got married to my late husband, Craig, we were young and naive and didn’t pay attention to our finances like we should have. It caused much unnecessary stress and strain on our relationship. As I matured, however, I realized the importance of staying on top of managing money. Therefore, when trying to take control of your life it’s important to do your research on credit cards, debt management (if you have debt), and payday loans. Find out more here, and be sure to make the right decisions moving forward.

Love

Every one of us has a desire to feel loved and to love others. Especially, when it comes to romantic relationships. When wanting to take strides towards the better version of yourself, it’s important that you don’t take lightly the decision to date or not date. During my time as a widow, I came to a place that I started thinking about dating again. I realized very quickly how much dating in the modern world had changed since the last time I was single. There were so many new ways to meet someone and for that reason, if you’re single and deciding to date during this time of reshaping your life, I encourage you to look for someone who shares your core values. The person we love shouldn’t make us question our morals or question what we stand for. Go into dating knowing who are in God and what wonderful things you can bring into a new relationship. That way, if it doesn’t work out you’ll be ok and able to move forward.

On the other hand, if you’re married, ask yourself how you might be a better spouse. Have an honest conversation with God about how you could better serve the person you love. Whether things are going great in your marriage or could be better, reflecting on how you can improve rather than focusing on all the ways your spouse could improve can do wonders for every marriage.

Learning

Every single day we have the opportunity to learn something new and to improve our knowledge of the world around us. I truly believe that in order to be our best self we should continuously be broadening our horizons and improving ourselves mentally. So ask yourself, “What can I begin to learn today that will help me be a better me tomorrow?” It may be something that takes time, but there’s nothing like looking back and realizing how much you’ve learned and grown from the experience.

Relaxation

This is one of the areas I personally struggle with the most. I find myself feeling guilty about relaxing or taking time to rest. This is so crucial for our wellbeing though. Allowing ourselves to rest and relax each week can help lower our stress and anxiety levels. After many conversations with friends and family, I’ve come to realize how much stress and anxiety dictate our thoughts and actions. Therefore, taking control of our life starts with taking control of these emotions. I know there are many factors that come into play with stress and anxiety, but I also know that resting and spending time meditating on the truths of God’s word has helped me take back control when my fears were getting the best of me.

“Me Time”

Finally, making sure to have “Me Time” is one of the best things you can do when trying to redirect your life. One of my favorite quotes is “Loneliness and solitude are two things not to get confused; because in my solitude I spend my time with You.” Being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. It’s in the moments we’re alone that we can hear God best, find a fresh perspective and grow through self-reflection. I didn’t always appreciate alone time [being an only child and all], but today I see that it’s vital to our wellbeing.

So like I said before, at first this might seem like an impossible task, but it’s not. Be ok with baby steps. Be ok with making little decisions every day that result in big changes over time. With God’s help you CAN take control of your life and direct yourself towards a better future. Spend some time with Him reflecting on these areas of your life and I promise you’ll be so much better because of it.

Praying for you today and always.

Love in Christ,

Helen Elizabeth