If there is one thing that a lot of people seem to struggle with, it’s self-confidence. If to some extent you fall into this category, I believe it’s important to deal with these feelings rather than ignore or try to live with them. To learn to love ourselves and believe in the person God created us to be.
Of course, in writing this, I know it’s a lot easier said than done. Lack of self-confidence was a huge part of my story before I established a genuine relationship with God. Since growing in my relationship with Him, I’ve seen a major shift in not only my confidence, but also the way in which I deal with moments when I feel down. This was one of the main reasons I decided to create my ministry, “Your Best New Self”. I want to help you find confidence in Christ, while also being well rounded in all the other areas of our lives.
So, today, I wanted to focus our attention on just a few ways we can raise our self-confidence within those “other” areas of our life (assuming that we already have our worth rooted in Christ). Take a look!
Hiring a Personal Stylist for the Day
Ok, so, before you say no…I think this would be SO fun! (Especially, for me as I prepare for speaking events!) I’d love to have someone pick out the clothes that would look best for my body shape, in the colors that went best with my skin tone. One of the reasons that I find that I tend to struggle with self-confidence, is that I tend to struggle with seeing myself too subjectively rather than objectively. You see, when you look at other people (in a non-comparative way), we see them objectively. That’s why we don’t really notice that zit on their forehead until they bring it up, and even then, we don’t really care about it. When we look at ourselves, we tend to pick ourselves apart, and sometimes we have a hard time seeing what might look best on us…which is why a personal stylist can be SO wonderful. It’s not just about being vain or buying new clothes. It’s about getting an opportunity to see yourself objectively. Plus, afterward, you’ll l be a whole lot more confident when dressing yourselfand that confidence will allow you to relax and enjoy the occasion…rather than feeling insecure about how you might look and comparing yourself to others. Which bring us to our next point.
STOP Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself will never do you any good unless your intent is to stay in a pit of unhappiness. Comparison is the thief of joy, and I hate thinking that so many of us (myself included) spend so much of our lives trying to measure up to the people beside me.
This reminds me of when I first started doing pageants. Everyone kept telling me, “you’re not competing against anyone but yourself.” Well, I didn’t get that at first because, to me, there seemed to be 50 other beautiful girls on the stage? How was I not competing with them. It wasn’t until the year I won Miss Arkansas USA that I finally got this, although I still viewed it a little differently than what I had been told. I realized that I wasn’t competing against the other girls, but I also wasn’t competing with myself. I was figuring out the very best version of me, and presenting that to the judges. I wasn’t competing against the girl next to me, because we were both uniquely created. She was the best her, and I was never meant to be her. I was created to be me, and she could never imitate that.
You friend, are beautifully and wonderfully made. God intended for you to be exactly as you are…and now that He’s created us, it’s our job to strive to be the very best version of ourselves in Him.
Learning to Decipher What Makes You Happy
I’ve found that I have a difficult time balancing making myself happy and making other people happy. I think there’s a fine line that we will always have to figure out like scaling a tight rope. I’m a firm believer that we should find the things that make us happy as long as it’s not at the expense of someone else. However, we also shouldn’t say yes to something that’s not a big deal and we know we will absolutely hate doing, just to please someone else. There’s also the concept of doing things, or not doing things, because of what other people say. Say you’ve been watching browlift videos and you’ve found a wonderful doctor, but the only reason you’re choosing not to do it is what others might think…well, then, that’s not a very good reason. If, however, you feel convicted about it, then absolutely, don’t move forward with it. But the reasoning should be your own, not because you’re scared of being talked about. I do however, want to mention the flip side of this…if you’re moving forward with something like this BECAUSE of what other people think about you, that’s not ok either. You are beautiful as you are, and anything you change about yourself should be strictly for you, subtle, and not over done. Now do you see why I said learning to figure out what’s actually good for us and/or what would actually make us happy can be more difficult than we realize?
In closing, I do want to bring it back to God. All of these things mentioned above, can be great! But only if we have a solid relationship with God first. When we have a solid relationship with him, we can see ourselves the way He sees us, and therefore appreciate what a personal stylist might tell us without letting the opinion of others define us. With a solid relationship with God, we no longer compare ourselves to others, but rather celebrate our differences. Finally, when we have a solid relationship with God, we are able to decipher what makes us happy and what’s good for us because we’ll have God guiding our conscious.
So, today, let us both commit to actively bettering our self-confidence by (first) strengthening our relationship with God, and then (second) considering our thoughts on the ideas above.
Praying for you today and always, friends.
Love in Christ,